


Baby, Your Ass Is Out Of This World

by Goira



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bonding, Crack, M/M, my bad humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 01:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4858790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goira/pseuds/Goira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the additional theme: Bonding.</p><p>Clint and Bucky bond over bad pickup lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby, Your Ass Is Out Of This World

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be longer, but I got lazy :p
> 
> this work is not Beta-ed so enter at your own risks.

“This is such a fucking bad idea Clint”

“Aw, chill Sam I know what I’m doing. Plus, what the worst that can happen? I get punched in the face? Won’t be the first time” Clint reassured Sam.

“Exactly” Sam returned exasperated “You are used to getting punched in the face, I’m not. Why did I agree to do this again?”

Clint just sighed and pointed behind him to their booth where Tony was sitting wearing his scumbag sunglasses in a goddamn bar, and sipping his juice. No alcohol for him.

“The reason is that asshole over there. Do you really want to lose a bet to him, and hear about it all your damn life?” as Clint said this, Sam turned his gaze to said asshole who in return wiggled his fingers at him and grinned widely.

Sam turned back to the bar where their two assigned ‘targets’ were sitting. “Yeah, no. getting punched is better.”

Clint patted Sam back and grinned at the direction of the bar “And look at the bright side, I’ve actually given in and gave you the smaller guy and sacrificed my pretty face. I hope the big guy won’t break anything”

Clint braced himself and started moving toward the two men sitting on the bar.

He didn’t know how he got himself in this situation. No, Scratch that. He knew exactly how he got in this one. He couldn’t back down from a fucking bet, especially if said bet was given by Tony stark. The man had the special ability to make Clint do all sort of shit. Like that time he dared him to jump from a rooftop to another, or the time he dared him to wear lacy underwear panties for a week or the one where he dared him to shoot his arrows at-  
Okay, he was drifting again. So when the man dared him to dump the cheesiest, ridiculous pickup lines on the two men on the bar, he couldn’t refuse. It was a matter of dignity!

And of course, he has to drag Sam along, what are friends for if they don’t bring you along when causing trouble.

The two men that Tony chose for them were both of them gorgeous from what he could make out of them. One of them was tiny and skinny and probably didn’t weigh 50 pounds soaking wet, his blond hair was all over the place from where he ran his hand over it all night long-Clint’s has been watching- high cheek bone, and beautiful smile. The man beside him was much taller and broader than the first man; his long brown hair was tied in a neat bun, broad shoulders, and an ass to die for.

So they finally approached the men, Clint didn’t even have to think long about the cheesy pickup line he was going to throw to this man. He leaned on the counter right next to the man and waited a few seconds until the man noticed his presence. And wow. Sharp Gray eyes settled on his all with long dark eyelashes darkening them. And Clint almost blurted something really sappy instead of what he was intending to do.  
Once he recollected himself enough to actually say what he came to say, the man was looking at him curiously with a dark eyebrow raised.

“Shame” began Clint “your ass is so beautiful that it a shame you have to sit on it”

And Clint gave himself a mental high five for not blushing or stuttering over the words. The pickup line was really ridiculous. And that was coming from him. The man, however, didn’t react immediately, he didn’t even look surprised or scandalized. He just kept staring at him with his passive expression, and Clint really thought that the man was just going to ignore him and return to him drink.

The man then proceeded to give Clint a whole body once over, lingering a bit on his lips.

“Well if it is such a shame, why don’t you give me a hand can sit on your hands and you can appreciate them better than this chair” as the man said this, his expression didn’t change; he fired back a pickup line like he was talking about the weather.

And Clint was immediately smitten.

So he sat on the stool beside the man and grinned widely at him. “Yeah, you could use my hands. Or my face, I don’t mind either way”

The man snorted and returned Clint’s grin now, he leaned closer to him and added “Do you have a name or can I call you mine?”

“Clint. Clint Barton” he said as he extended his hand to the man.

“Bucky Barnes” the man declared as he gently took Clint extended hand and placed a soft kiss to his knuckles, all without breaking eye contact with him.

And suddenly the air wasn’t playful anymore, the air between them was electric and Clint barely could get enough air into his lungs. But that didn’t really surprise him; the man was drop-dead gorgeous. What did was the urge to talk to this man, there was something in those gray eyes that made him wants to crawl beside him and spill all his gut to this man. And that scared the shit out of him.

Clint bit his lips to refrain himself from saying something particularly sappy, and the man followed the action. And god, if he continued doing that with his eyes, Clint was going to throw all caution in the air, and kiss the shit out of him right there.  
“I’m sure you’ve heard this before. But seriously I want to die choked by your tights. I complimented your ass, but I like those better” Clint tried to return to the playful air. And almost sighed in relief when the other man stopped staring intensely at him and smirked at him.

“Yeah we can do that I guess but are you sure you don’t want to choke on something else,” Bucky said while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

And Clint lost it, he began laughing until tears filled his eyes, and apparently Bucky was laughing too. Once he calmed himself a little bit, Clint placed his hand on his shoulder and looked at the man a little more seriously.

“I’m sorry about all this man, it was all a bet. Me dumping pickup lines on you, and my friend Sam dumping them on your friend”

Speaking of Sam, Clint peeked behind Bucky to look for him, but the seat beside them was empty with a few bills on the counter. Mentioning his friend Bucky turned to look for his friend too to find him gone.

“Well, it seems that the bet worked” Bucky grinned widely at him.

Clint was going to say something witty back when the realization hit him. “Shit, Sam has my keys” Clint declared, and when the other man gave him a questioning look, he explained “he’s my roommate; he has my keys, what if they went to your friend’s house”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, his expression amused “Nah, Steve is my roommate too, and I have the keys. That means they went back to your place.” Bucky suddenly snorted and gave Clint a sorry smile “which is worst. Stevie is a screamer. Every time a partner of his comes over I have to get out of the apartment. There’s nothing worse than hearing your best friend moaning in the middle of the fucking night.”

Both of them made disgusting faces because they both knew. And Ew.

Looking at Bucky again, the man had an unreadable expression on his face.

“So” Bucky began hesitantly “now that we cleared the disturbing mental images, do you. Um. Want to come back to my place? I mean to avoid the noises and all and no funny business I swear” as he was saying this, the confidence he had just a moment ago when he was saying filthy things, disappeared. And Bucky was blushing bright red, even his ears were burning.

And Clint found that deadly cute. He had to curl his hands to prevent himself from reaching for the other man.

And before Clint could stop himself he blurted “yeah sure. Is there a chance that you might sit on my face in the near future” Dammit month! “I mean, like after this. And a date maybe? I mean I kind of like you? Uh”

Clint didn’t have the time to actually punch his to prevent himself from further embarrassment, because Bucky was grinning widely at him, his gray eyes looking at him with fondness.

“Definitely,” Bucky said “so. Do you want to get out of here?”

Clint reached to Bucky hands and began to pull him out of his seat “Yeah let go”

And as they made their way to the exit, they passed the booth where Tony was still seated. Clint gripped Bucky’s hand tighter and waved at Tony with a smug expression on his face.

“Later Tony,” his said loudly to the man. Tony shrieked indignantly.

Really the night couldn’t get better; he made Tony shriek, won 50 dollars from a bet, bonded with a gorgeous guy over stupid pickup line, and possibly got himself a boyfriend.  
He counted the night as a win.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://middle-earth-conqueror.tumblr.com/) come say hi.
> 
> feedback is always welcome and appreciated.


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